More Letters to… (More Rants and Rambles)

Dear Scott Heggart;

After reading the article in the Ottawa Citizen about your struggles and courage in coming out as a gay man and a hockey player is an example for untold others who face similar pressure and hardships in their lives.

In a world where so many youths try to assert their individuality by doing everything the same, you have shown them what true individuality means.

So many kids and teens, even some adults, are so afraid of differences. To hide among the sheep, they act, dress, talk and do the same thing because they are so desperate to fit in. They use similar technology, watch the same shows, listen to the same music, so long as it is deemed cool or hip by their peers. 

When anyone steps out from the flock, for whatever reason, they are mocked, teased, bullied and hurt, which can drive many into depression that some, sadly, can’t escape.

Luckily, I escaped. I remembered. Although my differences weren’t as socially evident, I can understand what some of those kids have to deal with.

There will always be people who are afraid of differences. Their minds remain closed by ignorance, whether it be religious or social.

Fortunately, it sounds like the reaction to your revelation was more positive than negative. Hopefully, more minds will be opened when they see that some people may be different, but in truth, they really aren’t. They want what everyone else wants. Freedom and happiness.

Good luck in all your future endeavors! Hope to see you playing in the NHL someday.




Dear Van Halen;

Your supposedly new CD is actually old stuff just re-done.

Ok, fine.

So when is the NEW material coming?

Pitter-patter, better get at-er before you slip even further into obscurity.

btw, you did your best work with Sammy. Did you win any awards or critical acclaim with Diamond Dave? Nope! Maybe that should tell ya something.

I’d rather see you guys with Gary Cherone than Grandpa Lee Roth.\

Get yer crap together, STAT!



Dear President Obama;

Kudos on becoming president!

Finally, all those movies where Morgan Freeman or Danny Glover plays POTUS isn’t wishful thinking anymore. Hope you get another kick at the bucket, cause the tools running for the Republicans look like a bunch of Father Phelps wanna-be clowns. Don’t let it become worse than when Dubya was in office *shudder*.

Anyways, on to my main point, the so-called “Obamacare” thing.

Sounded like a good idea! Being a Canadian, and having watched Michael Moore’s movie “Sicko”, health care for every American citizen was something desperately needed. The system you have now, really sucks, huge.

When a sick, old woman is kicked out of a hospital because she can’t pay, that’s bad. When any person has to decide which finger he can afford to save when two are accidentally cut off, that’s bad. When insurance companies dig through mountains of paperwork to find any way they can weasel out of paying out to a customer who has diligently paid their premiums, that’s bad. I could go on, but I have a point to get to.

Today, I read about all the trouble this Obamacare plan is having, and when I read the details I can see why. It states that all citizens will have access to health care, either through their insurance or, as the editorial stated as “Quasi-public” funded. It also stated that people will be pushed, coerced, sorta forced, to get health care.

Ok, like the moxy and big thinking, considering you have 313 million people, but no one should be forced to take something or do something.

See, up here in CanuckLand, we have “actual” health care. That means if I go to the hospital, I don’t have to worry about paying for things. I go to the doctors, I don’t have to worry about paying for something. Our health care system is paid for by everyone who pays taxes, so that everyone who goes to the hospital or the doctors doesn’t have to worry about how much stuff costs. This is especially good for people with low incomes.

But it sounds like your version, people do have to pay. Sure up here we have to pay for some things. Sure our waiting lists are longer than we’d like. But if something happens to me, my first thought isn’t “Is my health insurance paid up?” or “Can I afford this live-saving, health-improving trip to the hospital/ doctor’s office?” No. All I have to worry about is my health.

Pretty sweet eh.

Maybe its the idea that our health care system was created by Tommy Douglas, a socialist. I know some of you Yanks are afraid of that word, but it seems to have worked out in other countries that have similar health care systems.

As one of the wealthiest countries in the world, who spends BILLIONS on making war with people you should have just left alone, maybe you should pour some of those BILLIONS into other things, like a health care system where everyone gets it for free, regardless of social class.

Anyways, hope it all works out for you Obama. Just be careful, some of those in power around you aren’t big on change. They killed JFK because he wanted change.

Hang tough, I’ll be rooting for ya!


One Canadian, among millions, who enjoy out health care system.


Dear Toronto Maple Leaf Fans;

First off, I’m the kind of fan who always cheers for the Canadian NHL teams. Since I live in Ottawa, I cheer for the home team first and foremost. Secondly, I cheer for any Canadian team, including Toronto, unless they are playing Ottawa. After the Canadian teams, it’s Detroit and the remainder of the Original Six.

But sometimes, I really find it hard to cheer for Toronto. Not because the team sucks, cause sadly, they do, continually. No, it’s because of the mouthy, annoying, blindly ignorant fans.

Considering how bad the team has continually performed over the decades, it is admirable how many fans ha remained loyal. I salute that kind of dedication. It’s pushes loyalty into the cult-like.

But it’s the truly idiotic, childish fans that make me wanna beat them over the head with a hockey stick. These are the fans that cheer on other teams if they are playing the Maple Leaf’s arch-rivals, like Ottawa. I’m not talking about passing comment. I’m talking about loudly cheering a team they don’t give a shit about, just so long as a rival team loses. 

This kind of fan, or should I say, “fanatic” will dig up any past misdeed of a team Toronto is playing as a reason to why that team sucks and why the Maple Leafs are the best team in the world, period. Even if Leafs play a terrible game, lose 8-0, they will dig up any minor, shining moment, talk about it ad nauseum, as if it were an example of how awesome the team is, despite tanking terribly.

There’s loyalty to a team, then there’s maniacal, blind stupidity. The people who fall into the latter group, you really need to grow up, calm down, or acknowledge the fact that you aren’t the center of the universe, as so many of you believe.


Sark, walking softly and carrying a hockey stick.


[The following letter was tossed through a wormhole to 1983]

Dear Producers of the Dukes of Hazzard, particularly Season 5;

You guys are morons.

The two Bo and Luke clones you got sucked.

Before writing the two preceding sentences, I came up two… no wait… three better ideas than the attack of the Duke clones.

Also, you woulda saved yourself a lot of trouble if you’d just gave Wopat and Schneider what they wanted originally.

If the show lasts another season or two, I’ll be surprised.


The future version of a 10-year-old kid who was a fan of the show, but was puzzled as to who the Bo-&-Luke imposters were.


[The following letter has been roughly translated from Lady Bug to English]

Dear Lady Bugs;

Although you look cute and are mostly harmless, I disagree with your accumulation in my window sill corners and near my lights that are not the Sun.

Please vacate the area around my food and drink so that I do not consume your persons, as you smell and taste bad when crushed upon or consumed.

My apologies to your numerous and cute race for assuming you are all females.


The fleshy, hairless apes that spend too much time crushing and consuming.


2 thoughts on “More Letters to… (More Rants and Rambles)”

  1. Love it! I especially loved the letter to Obama… I spent 3 years in the UK enjoying the peace of mind that comes from public healthcare. I come back to the US to find that the mere mention will nearly get you burned at the stake! So enjoy your blissful peace of mind 🙂

    1. Sorry for the late reply.

      Yes, everytime I hear the debacle that is “Obamacare”, I thank Johnny Canuck that I live in Canada.
      Also, after watching the doc “Sicko”, I was disgusted how a country that prides itself as the best country in the world, can let such terrible things happen to those a country is supposed to protect. Yet, when someone comes up with a plan (may not be a great plan, but its a start), all these people step out of the wood work and talk about losing their freedom.
      Gee, I have socialist health care and I’m still free.

      Thanks for your comments. I enjoy doing those ‘Letters to…” blogs. Can go from funny to serious.
      Also, thanks for reading! 🙂

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