Letters to… Maple Leaf fans, Online Cowards, News Media, and Mother Nature

Dear Timberlake Christian School,

RE: the letter you sent home with Sunnie Kahle, which said…

“We believe that unless Sunnie and her family clearly understand that God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity, that TCS (Timberlake Christian School) is not the best place for her future education,”

Well, that sound like a fine idea. Who would want to send their 8-year-old daughter, who is enjoying her tomboy stage, to an intolerant, close-minded institution like yours? I suspect there are other Christian schools across North America, that aren’t as big a jack-holes as you. I’m sure they allow children to be children, wear either uniforms or whatever they want, all while learning the greatness and love that is written within the Christian bible.

But you, evidently, aren’t one of them.

You are the reason people look so poorly on the Christian belief system. You may not be in league with those Westboro Baptist nutjobs picketing soldier’s funeral, but sure and shit ain’t doing your religion any favours.

If you, and those with similar mentalities, weren’t so fearful of change and growth, maybe this 8-year-old girl could have continued to learn about the greatness of the lord, instead of wondering why those that preach his word hate her because of her short hair.




Dear Mother Nature,

If we round-up all the bad people who mocked scientists about global warming, air pollution, and all the bad stuff we’ve done to nature, and shot them, would you bring back Spring?




Dear News Media,

Yes, the mysterious disappearance of Flight 370 has baffled people. In an age where very little is left to the imagination, where satellites can zoom in on me picking my nose in the backyard, where even Google Maps has mapped the ocean floor, a large passenger plane vanishing without a trace is cause for concern and action. Kudos to so many who have looked for it. At the time of me writing this, a 300-object debris field has been spotted in the southern Indian Ocean. Hopefully, it will be the beginning of the end of the search and bring so many families so closure.

But I’m betting the news networks like CNN and Fox News hope the never find the plane. I’m sure they are enjoying the rating spikes from the mudslide in Washington state, and the crisis in Ukraine, but the missing plane is definitely their favourite.

Why, you may ask, is the missing plane their favourite? Because of the wild speculation, combined with computer graphic, even holograms, equals huge rating! It’s also getting huge reactions from other news media, including fake reports of even wilder speculations! It’s become like a vicious circle of bullshit upon bullshit, tinged with a dose of real news and footage. Occasionally they’ll mention the families of those lost, showing them grieving or angry at home their sorrow is being turned into a global media circus, but hey, as long as the rating are high, it’s all good.

I watch the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, usually missing the shows they are mocking. I sometimes think they are making it sound worse than it is. They aren’t. If anything, they are just showing the hints at how bad the new media can be. I remember the news when it was something to be trusted. It didn’t have an agenda, have corporate and/or political masters they had to bow down to, but most importantly, it didn’t care about ratings. All it cared about was the news.

Guess those days are long gone.




Dear Toronto Maple Leaf Fans,

If you want a credible example of why everyone in Canada hates you, this would be it.

After Toronto’s loss to Montreal Saturday, supposed Maple Leaf “fans” took to Twitter to attack the person responsible, April Reimer, wife of goalie James Reimer. April showed what a class-act she is by being a true, and supportive goalie’s wife. When Toronto lost Sunday’s game, the attacks returned.

First off, serious kudos to the true fans who tweeted to April’s defense. That is how true, loyal, die-hard sport fans support their teams, and those that support their team. It is that kind of thing that brings people together and creates incredible rivalries between two teams.

Secondly, to those cowards who attacked April, perhaps you need a reminder that a hockey team is composed of more than just a goalie. There are guys at center, left and right wing, and two on defense. The failure of one can stem from the failure of others, or the entire team. Like the saying goes, “there’s no ‘I’ in ‘Team'”.

Finally, to the fans who I will call “Asshole Leaf Fans”, who would blame the loss of a game on one person, then attack that person’s wife online because said person,wisely, doesn’t have a Twitter account, you are a bunch of whiney little bitches. You are probably the same kind of people who Boo an opponents player years after some incident that every other sane person has forgotten. The fact that you would attack a player’s wife, online, about his performance, makes you the worst kind of coward. You are mouthy and brave online, because you have no face or name. Why don’t you try to say that to the person’s face? If you ever run into Mr. and Mrs. Reimer in public, say to them what you said online, with as much venom as your post or tweet.

I know you won’t, cause you’re a coward. But if you did, I’m sure Mr. Reimer might have issue with you. If he sinks to your level, he’d clean you clock, after all, hockey player are pretty strong. If he’s a better man, which I’m sure he is, he’ll just shake his head, maybe get into his nice car, drive to his beautiful home, and snuggle with his incredible wife.

While you, on the other hand, will bus it back to your apartment, and go online and lie about your encounter with the Reimers.



Real Hockey Fans


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