Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Its been a busy few weeks, and there have been some downs and further downs. But with the recent up-swing in things, I thought I better get my ass back to writing and blogging for the… what?! 380+ people who have subscribed to my blog?! I didn’t know that! Wow.
When you last read about my long-suffering self, it sounded something like this…
“After my 3-month probationary period is done, so am I. Now the question is, will I continue to pursue this career, or will I have to re-evaluate. But one thing I have learned for sure is that what I envisioned in a pharmacy is not what the reality is like. And that is quite disappointing.”
It seems I was quite prophetic, because on the day of my 3-month probationary period, my boss told me I was being let go. The few people I did tell were shocked. They thought I was doing great and was a good worker. But as I explained in my previous blog, I sucked at pharmacy work.
Part of me was glad to be let go. But the majority of me was already exhausted at the thought of having to re-start my job search all over again. Plus, I actually thought that I should try for one of the numerous other pharmacy assistant jobs that were out there.
I thought about that for about a split-second.
There was no way in HELL I was going to go back to that career. I knew, deep down, in my bones, as sure as my fingers typing on this keyboard, that anything to do with pharmacy was NOT for me.
Although somewhat relieved I had come to such a certain conclusion, I was still pissed at all the time I had wasted in Herzing for this career. I was angry with myself for picking a career off a list, allowing others around me to direct my path in life, and I was angry at myself for allowing that to happen!
At the time, I was feeling the pressure. The pressure to find a new job, and the pressure from others to find a new job. The difference was I was looking for something I could do and would like, while others didn’t really care, they just wanted me employed.
But unlike before, where I slogged through job seeking websites and newspaper ads, I stumbled upon a job. It was for something I just emailed off, not really thinking about it. When I got a response, I was still unsure. But when I went for the interview, I knew this place had potential. It wasn’t the holy grail of jobs, but it was something that was in-line with the experience I had accumulated over the past 20+ years that I had been a part of the work force. It was regular hours, easy work, a good atmosphere, and better pay. The first three weeks have gone well, despite getting a serious cold, sore throat, and losing my voice. The job is a good one, with definite potential for improvement.
But the most important thing, and this is where my point comes in, is that it allows me to focus on my true goal, writing.
Not long after I started working in one of the three pharmacy jobs I got last year, I realized that it required a dedication that I wasn’t prepared to make. It was the kind of job that took up too much of my time. I would bring it home with me. If I wanted to do better, I had to study. It would be a true career. In truth, I didn’t want that. I already had a career I wanted to do.
This new job is easy. I requires memory, thinking, responsibility, as well as some physicality. But when I leave for the day, work stays there, and I go home free of thoughts of work, free from stress, free to do whatever things I need to do at home, but most importantly, free to return to writing!
Just this week, when I came home, I was told that I seemed happier. When I was working at the pharmacy, I wasn’t happy.
Ooo, correction, maybe that is the point of this blog, happiness.
We so often forget the things that make us happy. We get caught up in work, relationships, financial woes, the future, self-image, etc. that we forget about a simple thing as being happy. Some think that having a high-paying job, fancy cars, clothes, and house, along with an attractive spouse will make us happy. In a way, that is what I thought when I thought about a career in pharmacy.
Throughout my life, I never had the best stuff. I still don’t have a Blu-ray player, a flatscreen TV, and my car is a year shy of being 20 years old. I think a part of me thought that if I became a Pharmacy Technician, I’d gain some sort of social respect. I certainly got a lot of pride and respect from the people who ignored my hopes and dreams of being a writing.
But I was just fooling myself. The truth of it is that if you have no self-respect, no pride in your self, no “self”, then everything else, no matter how expensive or shiny, is just a waste of time and money. All of those things just hide the fact that you aren’t happy with yourself. I think I lost a bit of myself during my time trying to be something I wasn’t, a pharmacy technician.
Now, I have a chance to get back to who I want to be. Sure there are gonna be stress and uncertainty. But at least I’ll be happy with who I am, doing a job that isn’t brain surgery, so long as I can strive for what I dream for and aspire to.
PS: Herzing College lost its accreditation to teach Pharmacy Technician, the course I had just graduated from. They kept telling us getting accreditation back would be simple, no big deal. Obviously a lie. Now they are teaching “Pharmacy Assistant”. If you are thinking of taking the course, don’t. Just get a job at a pharmacy. You’ll learn more and get paid!