Am I an Asshole? A Reply:

I’ve been called an asshole before. That’s nothing new.

But when it comes from a guy I’ve known since I was a little kid, it makes one stop and reflect.

Case in point:

I recently received the following message on Facebook…

“I don’t post on peoples facebook page but I will amek an exception today ,your an asshole! BLOG that.”

Despite grammatical, punctuation, and spelling errors, challenge accepted!

This message stems from a social comment I made on a FB post his wife made. Somehow, it went from being nothing serious to… well something serious. It ended with him blocking me, and his wife defending him for his outburst, something she seems to like in him, emotional outbursts… as opposed to talking (which I think I addressed in my previous blog).

So, am I an asshole?

Probably. But that depends on the other person.

This “friend” of mine posted a few things here and there on Facebook that I didn’t agree with, and I could have started a social media shit-storm with him. But I didn’t. His opinions are his own, and he’s free to speak/ type/ post them.

Now, if I WAS the asshole he takes me to be, supposedly posting nasty things that upset him and his wife, I might also be petty and vindictive. If I was the “frustrated” and “angry” person his wife concluded that I was, I would respond to his bluster and her self-righteousness. A battle of words would continue and hurt feelings would grow. The wedge between these “friends” of mine may have reached a point where there may be no turning back.

That isn’t something I want, nor intended.

I am truly sorry that a social comment about some aging rockstar has blown so far out of proportion. I’m sorry that they felt hurt by my words.

But were my words derogatory? No! Were they mean? Insulting? Did I attack either of them? No.

I spoke my mind, in a somewhat civil, if not mocking/ humourous tone. In short, I offered an opinion that they didn’t like and they got mad.

This happens all the time on social media. Words are posted, and taken the wrong way. Or in this case, and a few others I’ve witnessed, the people feel the opposing opinion is an attack on them.

One of my favourite angry replies that I’ve seen was when someone said “You are invalidating my opinion!”

No, I’m not! I’m stating a counter-opinion, and you don’t like it!

I’ve blogged about how people on social media think an opposing opinion is an attack on theirs, so I won’t repeat myself. All I’ll say it that it shows the lack of self-confidence and belief in one’s thoughts.

I’m just as guilty of this as anyone. In frustration, I deleted the wife’s lengthy response to my rebuttal to being called an asshole. I regretted it immediately.

We all get pissed off at people and how they respond to what we post or comment on social media, especially if it is directed at you. But we shouldn’t! Who are they? If they are friends you know only from social media, then they are just images and words on a screen, nothing more. It is when we share feelings and thoughts that we make connections. When they differ, we disagree, or ignore them. They are allowed to think their thoughts and post their opinions. Just as we are.

So, am I an asshole? To my “friend” and his wife, I guess I am.

Thing is, a know a few people who sometimes act like assholes, and they are still my friends. Some are even family, and I love them. I judge who they as a whole, not for one thing.

It is unfortunate that two people who have been in my life for decades, one who I saw as a second brother, could not ignore the one time I was an asshole, and remember all the good. Instead of lashing out, they could have talked, communicated (covered that in my last blog too).

If I’m an asshole, I can live with that.

Thankfully, I’m pretty sure I’m not a liar, disloyal, or a thief.

But feel free to correct me on those.

 

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