Tag Archive: dreams


Small Motivational Mnemonic

Motivation can be everything.

It can get you up in the morning. Remind you why you do whatever it is you do. Make that thing you do worthwhile. Give you that spark, that drive, to complete things, to do something well instead of half-assed.

But sometimes, motivation can be hard to muster. Sometimes you do silly things like ask “Why am I doing this?” or “Is this all worthwhile?”, or my personal favourite, “Will any of this amount to anything? Will I?”

I don’t know if these are questions just writers ask themselves, or is it other artsy people, or everyone in general?

I suspect everyone, at some point in their lives, asks themselves these questions, circling around the bigger life questions like “Why am I here?” and all that. But I think I’ll just focus on the seemingly simpler one, “Why am I doing this?”

The “This” in question for me is writing. I may not have always been a “writer” per se, but I have been a storyteller. I have created characters, worlds, mythologies, and all the things you need to make a writer. It has only been the past 16 years or so that I have come to my senses and realized there was a specific outlet for all these whacky things I was thinking up. Over the years, I have also written and blogged about my ups and downs as a writer, from the frustration to the successes.

In the past few years, I’ve had a little more chaos and disappointing revelations than I would have liked. With a little more on the horizon, this question returns to me, like a boomerang I keep trying to get rid of. “Why am I doing this?” “Will any of this amount to anything?”

The easy, gung-ho answers would be “Because I love it!” and “Who cares!”

I do love writing and creating. They may be the only two things I’m actually decent enough at to get noticed. I have also written for myself, for my own enjoyment. In my opinion, if you write what you enjoy, it comes through in the writing and others will see it and either enjoy it or not. George Lucas or the Wachowskis, they didn’t write the biggest things they are known for to make others happy. I’m sure many other writers are of the same mind-set. They write what they enjoy and the passion and skill of doing so makes their works that much better.

So why am I asking myself these questions? I could blame the lack of support from many of those closest to me. Their indifference stemming from a lack of understanding, or a lack of willingness to understand. I could blame bad habits, or lack of discipline when indulging in my addiction and what should be a pastime and not a full-time. But the truth of it is, I have only myself to blame.

The support I would like from family and some friends may never come. Thankfully, I have some good friends who have always supported me. Laziness and procrastination are two big factors in feeding my bad habits, and allowing my negativity about others things that bug me (as written about in other blogs). IE: If I’ve had a crappy day at work, when I get home, I allow myself to wallow in that negativity. Which brings me to indulging in my addiction, junk food, and my favourite pastime, watching movies. Both have gone hand-in-hand for decades. It’s like when a friend told me they had a hard time separating drinking from smoking cigarettes. I won’t go into the personal crap around me, because everyone has personal crap.

The reason I’m asking myself these questions, is because I need to remind myself why it is I want to do this, and what it will take to do it. I think there are times in our lives where we all have to remind ourselves why it is we do what we love, to remind ourselves that, whether or not it amounts to anything, that we remember we accomplished something.

I have accomplished quite a bit. But the next step, if I’m brave enough, if I have the discipline, will help define whether I am truly meant for this. Whether I truly have the talent, skills, and right to actually call myself a “writer”. Whether someday, I can attain the privilege and honour from others to consider me an “author”.

But it isn’t just the discipline, hard-work and dedication that is needed. Hope is needed to. The ability to dream, to imagine, that all of what I want can be accomplished. That everything I need to achieve my goals is available to me. I just need to gather them, use them, and get what I want. I need to shed what holds me back, the bad habits, the negative thinking, and seeking approval from those who don’t give a shit. It won’t be easy, and there will be missteps. But every small victory leads to more.

Like I said at the beginning, motivation can be everything. Without it we can falter, question ourselves, and question our choices.

It is in times like that, we need to remind ourselves what our motivation is.

Sometimes, we just have to write it out.

 

“Who is it that chooses our steps in the dance? Who drives us mad? Lashes us with whips and crowns us with victory when we survive the impossible? Who is it, that does all of these things? Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what’s real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we’ll die to defend? Who chains us? And who holds the key that can set us free… It’s you.

You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!”

  • Sweet Pea, from “Suckerpunch”

This morning, I came across a post on Facebook that actually pissed me off. Now usually, things I see posted that I don’t agree with, or even people who dislike my comments, I usually just laugh them off.

But not this one.

It was posted by this guy named Dale Partridge, a self-help business guy who just turned 31 and wanted to let others know how he felt. here are some excerpts from his post…

 

“When men thought it was better to remain independent than making a commitment to another.”

“I’m not sure when video games and “guy night” became more important than tee-ball and date night.”

“I’m not sure when men became boys.”

“Our culture has a boy problem. In Italy, they call it Peter Pan Syndrome. I call it immaturity and selfishness. Men so focused on their dreams, their visions, and their desires they find themselves wealthy, known, and alone.”

“The adult world doesn’t need more boys. We need men who will grow up, know up, and show up.”

“We need more men of integrity and character. Those who will hold a moral code and not compromise it.”

 

What the fuck?! Who the fuck does this self-righteous, pompous jackass think he is?!

Ok, back the truck up. This guy is talking about himself. He sees himself as the epitome of manhood because he’s 31, has a wife and two kids. Well good for him. Congratulations on his success and happiness.

But for him to judge others by his standards smacks of the things I mentioned before, him being a self-righteous, pompous jackass. He talks about men who focus on their dreams and goals, who play video games, who he calls “immature” and “selfish”, and that these kind of men lack his level of integrity and character.

As much as I hate to admit it, there are some men out there who live and act like the men he talks about. But to my knowledge, most of them are still in their 20’s. Speaking from experience, being a decade and some past 30, I know that people (men and women) in their 20’s aren’t that much different from teenagers. They have a little more experience, but many still haven’t found their way. This isn’t the 1950’s anymore, where people graduated high school, married, and started their life-long career, all before they were 21. These days, that may not happen until well into their 30’s.

I think what really pissed me off about this guy’s crap is that it made me think of my brother-in-law Charlie.

When he met my sister, I was still a little kid. He was in his 20’s and did a lot of the things 20-year-olds did. But when he and my sister fell in love. He committed himself to her, changed many of his bad habits, and became a good man, a good husband, and a good father.

But, much to Dale’s chagrin, Charlie was also a big kid at heart. He loved comic books, cartoons, and video games. He continued to do so throughout his marriage, when he had kids, right up until Leukemia took him. He loved to do all those things. He often told me about how someday, they would make superhero movies, then have them all team up in one movie.

Did these things make him less of a man? Absolutely not! He was a good man. He worked hard for his family. He would always be there to help you out. He had character. He was committed to his wife and kids. He was everything that Dale has said is the definition of a man, yet he was also a boy. So, in my mind, a “real man” can be both.

Another problem I had with Dale’s diatribe is how he put a negative spin on a man’s dreams. If he had said the same things about women, you want to believe he’d get a shit-load of hate comments. But its easy to be negative towards men, after all, just being men, we probably deserve it!

But I digress.

In Western culture, everything tells us to strive for our dreams. It is something that has been ingrained in us since people first came to this country seeking a better life than they had. People’s dreams are what have made some of our greatest achievements possible, for better or worse. Without dreams, we become just fresh-covered automatons living our life according to someone else until we keel over.

I sincerely hope he doesn’t tell him kids not to bother with their dreams, and instead to find someone and marry them, because, according to him, that’s what makes a worthy man.

Sidebar: I wonder what, in his mind, makes a worthy woman? Someone who marries the first guy that asks? Who lives by her husband’s will? Is she allowed to follow her dreams, or is being a wife enough for her?

Finally, Dale talks about a moral code and integrity. Apparently, he has it in spades, and men who he sees as boys, don’t. Funny thing is, when my friends and siblings were boozing it up as kids, I wasn’t. I was usually the sober voice of reason. I was the one who worried about them and tried to make sure they got home safe. If I had lacked a moral code or integrity, I might have done many unsavory thing in my life, potentially ruining friendships that I hold most dear. If I lacked these things, as soon as I got a decent paying job, I would have went back to living on my own, instead of staying where I am needed. I am definitely not a high-on-his-horse type of fella that Dale is, but I am NOT the kind of single person he paints.

One thing he fails to mention is the divorce rate. It seems, according to him, when people get married, the man becomes all righteous and awesome and shit. So, I guess when they divorce, they aren’t so good anymore. In fact, if you believe him, they walk away from their duty as men. They become less as men. They become… like the men who act like boys! *gasp!* I’m not even going to get into the men who marry because they accidentally knocked-up their girlfriend, of the men who don’t marry because they haven’t found the right guy, something I suspect Dale’s belief system would absolutely hate.

One of the saying from the Bible that I like is when it said “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” In this case, I would take it as “The only way you can talk this shit, Dale, is if you’re squeaky clean.”.

No one is squeaky clean.

Everyone has their own life to live, their own choices to make, and have to deal with unexpected events, We all deal with them differently, for better or worse. We should NEVER compare our lives to others, and no one has the right to pass judgement on the way others live their lives. This can be hard to do, especially with dicks like Dale around. But if we are truly good, have our own sense of integrity, our own moral code, and live our way, then the worst that dicks like Dale can do is piss us off, or, in my case, give me a subject for a blog.

 

Chapter TK

Question Everything

AROUND and ABOUT

... I M O ...

Kate Heartfield

writer and editor

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